Real couples’ guide to stress free wedding planning
As someone who has gotten married myself, and been witness to hundreds of weddings, I thought it would be great to put together a little blog post full of advice on keeping your wedding planning stress free.
I’m going to list my favorite ideas, and then some of my couples’ ideas as well. Hope you enjoy and it’s helpful to you in your wedding planning!
So, first of all, wedding planning can start to take over your life if you let it. Make wedding planning with your significant other more fun by only discussing the wedding over drinks/brunch/dinner out, etc. Or just make sure you have certain days/times where wedding planning is off limits and you have to do/talk about something else!
Second - have everything done two weeks before the wedding. Most people do lots of planning a year or sometimes even two years before the wedding - booking your venue and other important vendors right away. But those little details also sneak up on you. Try to have all of that stuff done a couple weeks before the wedding so you can enjoy your time with your family and friends coming in from out of town, relax before the big day, and not have to worry about it during the days leading up the wedding.
My last bit of advice: stay organized, in whatever way is easiest for you. Hate spreadsheets? Maybe a planner will do, or sticky notes. Even better, hire a planner to take the stress of a million decisions off your shoulders!
And now, advice from some of my amazing couples! After the wedding I send out a little questionnaire, and at the bottom, I ask, “what is one piece of advice you would give to couples planning their wedding?”
Plan the wedding that you want, not the wedding that other people think you should have. Ultimately, we made lots of non-traditional decisions (i.e.: no bridal parties, a floral printed dress, an ice cream bar instead of cake) because they were right for us and for the day we envisioned. In the age of Pinterest and Instagram, it is easy to get caught up in a lot of ‘shoulds’. That just adds unnecessary stress to a day that should be about you as a couple. Also, have fun, even if things don’t go exactly as planned. It’s a party and no one notices if the napkins do not match the tablecloths.
Brian & Alison
(I absolutely love this advice! I think I gasped when I first saw Alison’s amazing dress :) Not to mention her shoes)
Get someone who will handle things on the day of your wedding so you aren't bothered because something will go wrong and you don't want to be running around in formal wear arguing with vendors or finding the missing items. This could be a wedding planner, a friend, or a family member, they just have to be comfortable and confident putting out fires.
Carissa & Morgan
We say this as a former publishing professional and an English teacher: decide on a thesis for your wedding and stick to it. What do you want the celebration to be? A rocking party? A backyard family reunion? You don't need to be all things to all people. If you stay true to that soul, everything will fall into place, the things that don't matter will fall away, and you'll have a day that truly represents who you are as a couple.
Also, when they say it goes fast, they're not kidding. I would love to do it over and attend as a guest!
Jenna & Mike
Don’t over think anything! The little things don’t truly matter but if you want to have favors that look like your dog, well then you go for it and make the day what you want and no one else.
Mark & Briana
(They had cookie favors that looked just like their adorable black lab!)
Make a list of your priorities and must-haves before you start really planning. Everyone is going to have opinions and it can be easy to lose sight of what matters most to you and your significant other.
Andy & Maria
Trust your venue and your vendors. If they're professionals they'll do an amazing job and do not need you to stress, obsess, or micromanage! Also, try to use vendors who know each other and/or know your venue, it makes things even easier.
Emma & Jon
It's your wedding, so plan it how you want, with what will be important and memorable for you, no matter what 'normal' or 'required' is, or what your (dearly loved) family thinks. Our family had a lot of opinions on what we should or shouldn't have as part of the wedding, and in the end they all had an amazing time (or at least said they did!), despite us not doing everything they said. Our wedding was perfect for us, and many of our best friends have had beautiful weddings that were so so different from ours, and that was perfect for them!
Kate & Geoff
Do what you want and what makes you and your spouse happy - it is YOUR big day, not everyone else’s and it’s very easy to lose sight of that. A bonus suggestion, have fun and take it all in - the day is over within a blink of the eye.
Shannon & Jeff
With all the planning and preparations, hiring the right people to do the job is very important. Experienced vendors makes the event run smoothly and stress free.
Fara & Tony
Plan and try to prepare as much as possible! And choose good vendors that go with your style. We tried to think of everything beforehand so that we could be in the moment and not have to worry about anything the day of. I was so relaxed on the actual day because I trusted the team and I knew we did a lot of planning and coordinating leading up to the day and everyone was on the same page.
Also, take time to eat cake! If I could do anything differently it would have been to eat more cake!
Kaitlin & Matt
(Yes! Enjoy all of the food you chose months ago!)
Enjoy more! The planning is stressful, but it will all come together. Our wedding was particularly a lot of work because all the set-up was on us. We didn't just show up to a place. It was really fun to do it that way, but oh man, lots of work.
I would suggest slowing down and taking pauses through the planning, and during the actual event. A friend told me to take two mental photographs that day, one during the ceremony, and one during the reception. I am SO glad I did that because those moments are embedded in my mind. It forced me to slow down and take it all in. Bottom line: be mindful. Enjoy it.
Margaret & Tom
Get the big stuff booked right away - venue, caterer, photography and surround yourself with family and friends who will help you get stuff done. At the end I just didn't even care about the few little extra decorations - I was forced to write one of the signs at 11:30 the night before the wedding by my MOH. Without the support of my mom, aunt and MOH there literally would have just been the flowers from the florist and nothing else!
Kristin & Ross
Don’t sweat the small stuff! When all is said and done, you (along with your guests) won’t even know what went wrong and as long as you focus on the love that surrounds you, absolutely nothing can ruin your special day!
Melissa & Jamil
Enjoy the planning process, and don't stress out about the details. What you and everyone else will remember from your wedding is the fun, the excitement, and the love.
Robb & Kathryn
Our advice would be to stand your ground with some things you really want to be part of your wedding, but also to be open to suggestions about things that you aren't so dead-set on, and let others help! We'd also encourage interactive elements for your guests - we had glowsticks and bookmarks with questions guests could answer on our tables and people seemed to really enjoy both of those things - plus we had lots of fun reading all the responses after the wedding was over!
Alyssa & Sam
(Alyssa and Sam had a vegan catered dinner, which was very important to them - and absolutely delicious - plus lots of fun details from their favorite movie, The Neverending Story.)
Hire Brett!
Jane & Daniel
(Ha! Maybe my favorite piece of advice?)
My one suggestion would be not to sweat the small things. Leading up to the wedding I thought I would notice if something went wrong or if something wasn't set up right, but you really don't. Just relax and enjoy your day because you only have it once.
Josh & Alaina
If I could go back in time, I would tell my pre-wedding self to focus less on the small details that can create a lot of stress and focus on the important things which are family, friends, and the beautiful marriage that comes after the wedding.
Liz & Steve
(So well put, that is the most important thing!)
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